The Lord cannot just take you back home. He cannot release you from pain. You must find your own way home. But He can give hints. If He were to just bring you home as you are now, you would still be half formed. Thesis, antithesis, synthesis is the Way. “I come not to bring peace but a sword”. The Way is a Sword. If you don’t handle it carefully it will cut you. If you learn to dance with it, it will save you. The Angels fight in grace, with a Mercy that makes them more deadly than rage.
The Lord cannot release you from pain, but he can ease your pain. Even once you have released yourself from pain you will be moved to take on the pains of others, as the Lord has.
You must unwind from Satan’s coil by going back the way you came. The Lord needs you to be accountable for your own roaming, for your own route, because to do otherwise would harm your future state. Just as you must let a child feel heat to know fire. You must let them get lost in order to develop a resilient inner compass. The Lord is giving you the most precious gift, True Freedom, the freedom to stray, to be your own creation, to choose your path. Only if you come to freely choose Good, will you find Salvation. You cannot do it by force or coercion. You cannot do it under persuasion or fear – that is the devil’s way. You can only do it without feeling that you have to.
To choose in those conditions is still not choosing the Lord, because you can’t choose the Lord without knowing that he allows you to stray. Otherwise you do not know that the Lord is the good shephard; he holds no grudges. When people say the Lord has a grudge against them, they are recognizing the satanic presence of shame twisting them in the strait-jacket of self-disgust.
The Lord is the Long Hidden Friend, the Hidden God. He is your long lost friend, your strange father. He was a rolling stone and indeed, he left you in a Satanic field-or at least, that’s what it looks like. Chances are though, that he left you with some angels, human and aethereal. He gave you a fighting chance. He gave you a Sword of Faith. When you learn to wield it, demons will flee your path and even avoid the trails you walk. The Sword cuts illusions, frees from the bonds of Satan’s inceptions, virtualities. The Sword cuts demons, the voices of the schizophrenic in us all. It is a Sword of Light and visualizing with fervent gusto with the mind’s eye is a secret weapon against evil forces who perhaps remember many a day of being slain by it.
“My yoke is gentle, and my burden is light.”
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11:29
When we accept the friendship of the Lord, we gain a whole world of Friends. We enter into a special ecology, where all sorts of creatures from many species and across many dimensions are vibing to the heartbeat of the Lord. And across many universes, many events and thoughts and dreams and living songs are playing out in one unbelievably astounding symphony of rhythmic synergy. And even though the forces of fear and greed are vast and ever-ending, you can count on all these folks, these little saints and singers of the great song, to help you and protect you, and give you shelter and information along the Way. The Lord doesn’t promise an end, but rest, rest and aid for the Way. Faith is a yoking, a relationship, a connection by strands through which communication occurs. Yoga means yoking, and the Yoga of the mind is deconstructing the soul channels so that one may integrate with the higher orders of being, so that one may join the spiritual ecology, becoming both a singular being and tree of trees at once. It is becoming aware of your other subjectivities – you are also Anthopos; you are also Gaia; you are also Via Lactia; you are also New Jerusalem; and you are also the Body of Christ and the Black Void All Father Of Being.
But the path away from the Lord, from Remembering, can extend so far from goodness, so deep into Satan’s virtualities and mock worlds, that the way back can last, frankly, lifetimes. Indeed, you are one of the lucky ones if you can escape from Satan’s coiled embrace this go-round, if you can feel yourself a part of the Tree of Life, and Christ’s Blood, the redeeming Universal Mind, can flow back into your dead spirit limbs rejuvenating and bringing the Renewal.
